4:37 AM

as the evening comes, i ride away

but of the view i speak to say

what is this house? what is this home?

i just can't help but feel alone

my turn of coat, i apologize

falls of fear sleep in my eyes

i have no car, i have no home,

i just can't help but feel alone.

        you'll never know

                never know

i cannot leave my consciousness 

for fear of of losing all of this

it's why i lay, so restless now

for nothing anymore. it's loud.

i shake as i glance- at those two.

i'm god-damned scared of seeing you.

i'm terrified of things and home,

i just can't help but feel alone.

cold

do you love me, my stillborn?

do you love me, still?

     your closing beat sounded off in your chest and mine, as ripples do.

all before you were birthed and your heart's regard

            the  

            III                       facts.                      III  

                                                                         glimmer.

oh, my stillborn. i am on display as your pride of indecision. i am a father, mother, uncle, son, and arsonist. 

            i loiter in the waiting room and on the table i give you life, 

                       expecting your cold birth and to put it on ice.

     steadfast, stay! my stillborn! hold your ground at the breaking point!

whatever you do, you must not let the womb retreat from your back

                    because the air means death. 

if you fail i swear i will light you on fire, so long as you are live-born and warm.

            

                                 stillborn....stillborn? can you hear me? will you love me, still?

travels

they've always called me a traveller. i always open the windows. the gusts of chill air slam the doors. they float along, so sound. one day i'll jump at the time as good or better than any other.. my victory flight to a home i am not yet familiar with. i will escape. bound by too many memories, a paradise found. i am lost. bound by a rope thinner than my numbness in sleep, near my right hand. i command such a mutinous mind! come rain, come wind, i am but a leaf blown away in the end.

i am.

i am the renegade fog, the forgotten ship, and the curious find,

loss is becoming such a familiar friend of mine.

godspeed

from the tethered hawk i tell you, you can't stop time. slipping through the hourglass into the cloudy night the water is draining fast. one month approaches on the ravaged horizon as both the hawk and his captor have been run dry. it's a disfiguring situation when you deny a bird it's prey... you've been my target for the longest time but now i have been caged and weathered by the game.

                            i am not a box with a board and pieces but a wind thirsty traveller who is ripped in two. i have a broken wing and a captured soul, my eyes are fierce with greed and gold. this is[?] just a skirmish, in the war on a three cornered point with the enlightened adored. though i have but one wing, i still have my talons and beak [i am not one for stalemates, truces, or treaties]. i'll take up arms to your disposition as it follows the temperature's days, feeding your captive or leaving it grey. 

 a queen, no longer bound by the noose of a title. stab me in the neck, i am a traveller! [and i will do just that]

      i am a mirror to look at and remind yourself of how unkempt and spent you are. you are a beautiful liar. i can't stand in the hay while you burn it. a doctor once told me that you cannot halfway amputate a limb when it's all you've ever known. i love you but you must forget me, i am alone. 

 

i crowned the king the other day, and he smiled at me as gracious as ever.

but i'll tell you, every king has his side that no one sees. it's ten o'clock leaving my seconds dry. it's ten o'clock and i'm shaking my head and the hand of a stranger.

but you know, every head has the hand of another, if forgave or forgotten. 

it's nice sometimes to stick your feet in the freezing cold. you feel alive, you know?

but i must warn you, you'll catch a cold if you stay out too long. you'll be sick and lost to the world around you. today is the day i started breathing! i left yesterday and i miss home. truthfully i've never felt so homeless in my entire life- cars are overrated.

i crowned the king the other day and i told him. i love the cold.