the weight of one piano and another undisclosed amount

oh man, is this book terrible or what? i read and read and read and read the scripture on these pages as a mirror to reality and the downfall of imagination .. it's spitting ink in my face, fucking dripping from my brow to my chest and down to my waist and legs, knees, feet, toes. i'm bathing in acid and salt, as so gracefully ungraceful an air is hung around my five senses like the hangman's noose on the eve of death. tainted and sickly scrubbing my wounds..tainted and frantically scrubbing me clean of the memories of you and i before they were ever soiled and shot. sunshine sunshine sunshine sunshine sunshine fucking christ i want sunshine as much as i am in love with the cloudy day and the tears of rain, i want blue skies of carelessness rejecting self-doubt and pity for the poor and weak.. wooden floors polished like the GLEAM of hope that is virtually invisible and practically lost. i want to shave my entire body from head to toe and curl up in a river to cleanse me of this one-sided hate and romance and just be completely nude of everything before i am dragged under and destroyed by the endless-ceasing current that is drowning me